Cheese lasting time and Sarcasm

Been pretty busy lately. I haven't had much time for an update in awhile. It was like three weeks ago now that I went on a road trip. On the Thursday a friend asked me if I wanted to go on a road trip up to Thompson for the weekend. That's in Northern Manitoba. 10ish hour drive. So about half an hour before we left was when I decided that I would go. So that was very last minute. There was me, Aaron, and Lacey. It was in a three seater truck. It was quite squished. The weather was just terrible going up there. It was snowing so badly that what should have taken us only 9 1/2 hours to drive took us 12. God sure had our back though. At one point during the drive Aaron who was driving fell asleep. We suddenly started to go off the road when he woke up and cranked the wheel. Honestly there was no way that we should have not gone all the way into the ditch. Second time that God had our back was with gas. We were planning on filling up in Flin Flon but we got there like 5 minutes after the gas stations closed. Aaron figured that we probably had enough gas to get to the next place. So while we were driving to the next place Aaron kept seeing the gas gage go up and when we got there we only had like 50 cents left of gas. Like seriously, God gave us gas. It was pretty awesome how God was so obvious on our trip up there. So Thompson was fun, met a bunch of Aarons friends and did a bunch of fun things. So I don't remember much from the week after I got back. Must not have been to exciting at all. The weekend after though I went home. It was the weekend before my moms birthday so I went home and then on Sunday we went to Tony Romas and I got my hair cut to. It is soo much shorter then it was before. On Easter weekend I will be putting some pictures up with my new hair so if anyone is curious about how it looks, check out the pictures then. So this past week not to much has happened. This whole month I have been watching NCAA, which is college basketball in the U.S. That has been some fun. Most teams that I have been cheering for have won which is always exciting. On Thursday and Friday I went over to Dave's house and watched a lot of basketball. After basketball on Friday we got into a two hour game of Buzz Word. I have problems with that game. The problem is that when I hear what the buzz word is I say that word and whatever the next word is that pops into my head. So I do not always make much sense. At one point the word was cheese and what ended up coming out was "cheese lasting time"..like that really does not make any sense. One of my favorite parts of the game is that the person that was reading out the cards was supposed to say recreation, but ended up saying re-creation. That probably pretty much made my night. So funny. So then on Saturday there was basketball finals here and the girls got 1st and the guys got 2nd. Such an intense game for the guys. It was crazy. I don't think I have gotten that involved in a game in quite some time. After that a bunch of us went to Dave's and watched some more basketball. After that was hockey finals for Bethany. We got first, which was very exciting. Then on Sunday I played a game of Settlers outside with a bunch of people and then watched more basketball. I have enjoyed watching basketball. After that was open dorms and then we watched The Village. Fun thing was that awhile ago Jenni stole Caezars hat and then we took it around and took pictures with it(posted on my msn space). So then on we put the hat back and took his three Lakers jerseys and 3 of us wore them yesterday. That was pretty fun. Even though they are huge on us. Mine went down to my knees. It was crazy long. So last night watched 24. I am so hooked on that show. It is so good. Next weekend I'm going up to Rosenort with 4 others to spend the weekend at Chris's house. We are going to a big car show in Winnipeg. That's going to be pretty fun. Sad thing is that after following basketball for so long I'm going to have to miss out on the finals. So that pretty much really sucks. So since I'm going to be home over Easter weekend I'm hoping to get together with some people. Who ever from home is going to be around that weekend let me know..we should do milkshakes or subway or something fun like that.
Anyway onto something a little bit more serious. So I've been thinking a lot lately about my sarcasm. I need to stop being so sarcastic. I had never really thought about it to much until recently. Sarcasm isn't always a good thing. In fact it is often not. And it seems as though I am just getting more and more sarcastic as time goes on. So the past little while I have tried to be less sarcastic. Actually hasn't been working. In fact, I'm pretty sure I may have gotten more sarcastic. Awhile ago someone during chapel and said how sarcasm can break community and get in the way of intimacy with people and stuff like that. I've been thinking about that a lot lately because it really does. I'm sarcastic because I don't want to let people in. If I'm sarcastic about everything then there is no need to be serious and if I'm not serious with people then I can't get hurt. It seems that it's all about protecting myself. I want to let people in though. I want people to actually get to know me and not just know my sarcastic side. Know the real me. I have a wall built up. Some people have gotten past that wall such as my roommate, but most people I don't let past. I want more people past though. I just don't know how to let people in. It's just like with hugging/touching. I don't like hugs. Well known fact. Hugs show that people care (see prevoius post about theories). I don't want people to show that they care for me because that means that they are past the wall. The thought really scares me. Same goes with relationships. I have gotten hurt in past relationships so now I am scared of them. While sometimes when I like a guy I will talk about him with my closest friends and entertain the thought that maybe this guy likes me and how fun that would be, deep down I don't want that to happen. When I start liking the guy to much, I run. I want to stop liking him, I stop hanging out with him, all to get over him because the thought of something actually happening really frightens me. I don't want to do that anymore. And now that I'm realizing this, and could actually work on getting past that, there's no point. Nothing is going to happen, and that I know about 99.9% for sure. I guess I can still work on not running though. Well since this is just pretty much a rambling post I am going to stop for now. But hey words of encouragment and prayer on my quest for the wall coming down and all mentioned in this paragraph would really be appreciated.